A brief christianese phrasebook
“Context is key” — I want this passage to mean something other than what it says
“the bible is very clear on this” — The bible either hardly touches this issue, or presents seemingly contradictory views, and although I can’t actually use the bible to prove what I’m saying I’m convinced God would agree with me.
“The meaning of this word in the original Hebrew” — I don’t like the implications of this word so I will pretend I am a linguistics scholar and lie to you.
“this generation”, “chosen generation” — Every generation, but I want you to feel special.
“Revival is coming!” — Things will continue as normal. OR Based on no real evidence, I believe that the next five years will be radically different to the previous two thousand.
“The Holy Spirit is doing a new thing” — The Holy Spirit is doing the same old thing, but we want to push you over.
“I sense God telling me in someone in here has a back problem” — Statistically speaking, someone in here is bound to have a back problem.
“I see that hand” — In faith, I see that, although no-one has raised their hands yet, someone will, and they just need a little encouragement that they’re not alone.
“Birthed” — What you say when you mean ‘born’ but want it to sound more spiritual, ie ‘The vision was birthed in my heart’
“I have heart for…” — Literally, ‘I have a passion for…’ Personally, I have a heart for blood circulation, but each to his own.
